Monday, May 14, 2012

So much beauty in the world

"Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in"
Ricky Fitts

We are fortunate enough to be taking care of Baby N, who is all of  74 days old.

We're not sure how long Baby N will be with us.  It might for another month, it might be for another year.  But right now, in this moment, he is with us.  And he brings so much beauty to the world.

He has dark eyes that now follow me when I hover in front of him.  He waggles both arms in pure joy when his bottle arrives.  And he is just now learning to smile his perfect little gummy smile.

No one else will see these moments.  We are lucky people to share in these unique moments of this beautiful baby boy.

I was up with Baby N until 2 a.m. last night and then up again at 5.  I do not complain.  I celebrate.  For these precious hours it is just me and the munchkin.

We also do respite for Master Q and Baby A on the weekend.

Master Q is a mad man.  He is 20 months old and just loves the world.  He finds so much joy in a ball, and is fond of giving me heart attacks as he throws himself off the playground equipment and managers to hold onto the monkey bars with two hands.

Baby A is 9 months old and is working out the world.  He can spend half an hour fascinated by a plastic coat hanger.  He loves shaking his head back and forth and go "La la la la" as I try to give him his bottle.

Last night I drove Baby A back to his mum.  She was ecstatic to see her little man and who could blame her?

I drove back home through Vancouver and the Tricity area.  I drove past mountains that are shedding the last of their snow in the summer heat.  I drove past forests where deer, bears, coyotes, and wolves roam.  I drove past rivers where wild salmon take their final journey.

I arrived at my recently painted home where my eclectic family live.  There are seven beautiful people currently residing here.  We shared our food that was barbecued in the summer sun by Papa.

Beauty surrounds me.  I just have to remember to open my eyes and look

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Meditation is Running. Running is Meditation.

I sometimes wonder whether I can actually make my goal of running 5km in under 30 minutes.  It just seems too hard at times.  I am chugging away on a treadmill, the lungs are burning and the legs are like lead.  Ugh.  Not fun.

And then I stumbled upon this article and my approach to running has completely turned around.

I realized it is not my body that is letting me down, but my mind.

Now when the body starts hurting, I think to myself that it just pain and I can run through it. I pick a spot on the wall, tune out my body, and relax as much as I can.  The pain fades, the body relaxes and I get the energy to power on.

I think of it as a form of meditation and it is working wonders for me.  Sometimes I get so zoned in that I get a form of tunnel vision.

As race day approaches, my training schedule is kicking up a gear.  Today I am doing two 10 minute bursts at near race pace as part of a 6km run.  Saturday sees me running 10km at a 90% race pace.

Without this new found mediation technique, I don't think I could do it.

Ideally, I would be running in silence and truly zone out, but I just love listening to Democracy Now! too damn much and don't want to give up my daily dose of human rights news.